Ignite Coaching Blog

January 14, 2010

The ladder of growth

Filed under: Uncategorized — Karen @ 10:23 am

 

 

A framed print caught my eye the other day.  Hanging quietly in a yoga studio, its message almost hidden, very simple and yet powerful indeed in its impact if you took the time to be still and notice it.  It simply stated the following:

 

Awareness

Balance

Transformation

Inspire

Evolve

 

I am calling this now a ladder of growth.   These words represent stages of growth or enlightenment, depending on your perspective.  One of my favourite sayings is, as my clients will tell you, “AWARENESS is everything”.  Once you are aware of something, a light is shone on it and that causes many things to show up in your life to change this thing of which you have become aware.  The more obvious examples are clarity, a willingness to de-clutter, behaviour change in the form of new habits to replace the old ones that are not serving, goal setting, a compassion for yourself and others and so much more.  Once you have awareness, you naturally are willing to get more and more into the “work” of personal growth as there is a subtle yearning, a ache that is suddenly more noticeable for the things that you have been keeping on the back burner of your life, simply not giving them any air time. Perhaps you have been tolerating situations or relationships which actually drive you quite crazy and drain your energy.  Now that you have brought awareness to the situation – awareness of this impact on you, the cost of continuing this way, you are no longer prepared to put up with this in your life.  You take action, you make choices.  Not surprisingly, this is often a time of upheaval. 

 

And after the upheaval and turmoil and guilt, we strive for BALANCE.  Ultimately, a fulfilling life is one that is in balance.  A balanced life is that place where your needs are being met and you live in accordance with your values.  You are in touch with your core essence and consult it and its wisdom daily.  People can spend a lot of time at this stage getting their lives into balance.  It is now trite to say we live in a 24/7 world which never seems to switch off, with every kind of technology demanding our constant attention, in an uncertain economic climate where there is no such thing as job stability or staying in one job for a lifetime anymore.  A world where we rely on earning coin to support ourselves instead of the fields and the wisdom of a village of elders.    Where people often interact more via technology than they do face to face and internet dating has become the way to shortlist applicants for the position of life partner but divorce statistics tell us the life partner bit is no longer the rule and more and more people are turning away from the institution of marriage.  Yes, balance in such a world is challenging.   And yet, as we have said before, each of us has a responsibility to do the work necessary to live a fulfilling, balanced life, no matter the circumstances surrounding us.    And when we do, we find ourselves undergoing a TRANSFORMATION.  We change. We notice it.  We enjoy it.  Others notice it and enjoy the new us too.  They sense the realness, the authenticity of this new one.  We start living in accordance with our values and discover an authentic joy.  We are open to loving others more and ourselves.  We understand that in order to give more to the world and its people, we need to practice self-love and self-care and this is not selfish. Quite the contrary, it is life giving to yourselves and those around you and so you move onto the level of INSPIRE.  Others notice your inspiring ways. They want to be around you. You become a role model even if you do not realize it.  The ripple effect of your personal growth has moved beyond you and is rippling out into the world.  Then you EVOLVE to the next level of your potential.  You stretch beyond your skin. You grow bigger.  You “do something” with your life that fills you with gratitude that you are alive and kicking.  Your heart fills with joy and love is ever present in your daily deeds, chores, actions. 

 

Now these stages are a ladder that we move up and down on various issues and things in our lives.  We are not necessarily at the same stage on all issues at the same time and we don’t necessarily stay at one stage on a particular issue either. We go up and down this ladder all the time and it is our responsibility again to bring our awareness to this and to know it is a process of constantly doing what is needed to move up to the next level.  At the point of the greatest discomfort in our lives, we will find the greatest growth.  At this point there is an inquiry for you as to what your edge is, what you so badly ache for that you will push through the discomfort – or not. If we don’t push through, we go back to the comfort level and that can feel good for a while until the pull to the next level calls us to push through the discomfort. The Susan Jeffries “Face Your Fears And Do it Anyway”  thinking which pushes us through and beyond.  As you push through the discomfort, embrace it fully, bring love and compassion for yourself into your observance of it because:   WOW!! You are moving to the next level!!  And please remember always to celebrate all forward movement. You will know it is forward movement when you get that resonant feeling,  that “ I did it!” sensation; when you just know you grew by stepping up and on, whether it was easy, or difficult, an “Aha” moment or pain and tears.   Growth happens in many different ways.   I want to acknowledge each and every one of you now for getting this far and being so open and courageous to climb up and down this ladder of growth.

With much love,

Karen

December 31, 2009

Welcoming 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Karen @ 5:22 pm

Dear clients, past clients, new clients and friends of Ignite Coaching:

 I trust that you have enjoyed the experience of the holiday season thus far.  I have been using the holiday season to take a break, to plan for next year and reflect on the year that has been.   Somehow it seems that 2010 is going to be Olympian in stature and not only because of the games in February in Vancouver.  This is my sense.  One thing that has been uppermost in my reflections on 2009 is how amazing each of my clients is; including the ones who are about to become clients in the New Year; how grateful I am that I attract clients of your calibre in my practice; how inspiring each of your journeys is and what a privilege it is to be on the journey with each of you.  Each of you along your own individual journeys displays to me so many impressive attributes. Sometimes I see in your eyes the question of  what you might think I think as I sit with you and sometimes you actually ask me what I think when you tell me “everything”.  Sometimes you get self conscious and say things like: “well I feel funny about saying all this to you, what must you think of me!”  In answer, what I think is that I love each one of you dearly and individually and I am grateful for the journey that I have been on in my life, especially the last 3 years,  which allows me this capacity to be with you, to love you authentically and share so much of your life with you.  I am deeply honoured when you trust me this much to share work, family, relationship, health, career and more challenges and aspirations.  When we co-actively reach new heights in your progress, when you sign up for bigger and better and more in your life, when you stand firmly in your own made–for–you shoes, in your own power  and I witness your success, it is incredibly gratifying all round.   I am just as awed by being with you in your low points as I know there is great learning for you then and you will come back stronger and more powerful; that when we are both patient with the lows and sit with them to get through them, we will get to witness the highs. I trust this process and I witness you learning to trust it too.  I am impressed by your courageousness, your honesty, your willingness to do the work of personal growth, your willingness to trust me even when sometimes your eyes show that you think I might really just be completely crazy this time, but you trust me anyway and then email me and tell me afterwards ”WOW, thank you!” and I breath a sigh of relief.   I am as appreciative of your strength, where, in our container of safety and trust that we have, you can tell me fiercely and even angrily:  “No, it is not that! - it is more like this!” because then I know you are finding your own clarity and truth and solutions.   I appreciate your often heartfelt appreciation of me, even though it is not about me, and your acknowledgement of the fact that I do love you; your acceptance that we are a team working on your dreams, the appreciation of the support you get from the coaching relationship and that we have the power of coaching surrounding us and supporting us and other forces too, when we are open to them coming in to be with us. Then there are all the times you have given me gooseflesh with the wonder and revelation of what you say, and how you can move me to tears, all so that you can reach more and more of your magnificent potential.   Just this week I had occasion to celebrate a birthday of someone turning 68 and I could not help but notice the sadness behind their eyes and wondered about the unfulfilled dreams that I knew had not been realized because they had been kept in a neatly boxed life and buried a long time ago, in the name of many things, especially safety.   It reminded me that we each have a responsibility to live fully in the moment, every single moment of our lives, and that often means stepping out and taking risks to grow ourselves in service of those we love and the world around us and yes, our own selves.  When we do that we learn it is acceptable to get messy and make mistakes because that is better than not doing anything at all.  That we might feel the pain and joy more intensely, but surely this means we are truly alive and not just the so called “living dead”.   It reminded me yet again to continue to take a passionate, fearless stand for my life and to encourage each of you to do the same.    It also reminded me to enjoy tears the next time I cried, instead of wishing them away because it hurt my heart so and scolding myself for being “so emotional”,  because ultimately those tears are really physical evidence of love and capacity for a fulfilling well used life.  If you don’t take chances and step beyond your skin, you don’t necessarily get to cry so what an awesome gift to feel that pain, those tears because it means you stretched and you experienced, you took a chance and it got messy  and you moved deeper for the experience.  This enables the light in you to shine just so much more brighter the next time.  When you stretch, you simply do not go back to the same size you were before.  So to each of you receiving this, I have included you because you shine and you are each individually shining lights in my life.  I want for you in 2010 that you get to crank up the “Shine Meter” on your personal light deep inside you, your magnificent potential.  Lets make it so.

 In the spirit of the holiday season, and the impending New Year, I am offering you a e-program for the start of what I know in my bones is going to be a stretching, changing, growing year.  It is a 21 day coaching cleanse program which will, instead of setting New Years Resolutions, engage you more deeply in the journey of healing, growth and personal development, and, if you do set New Years Resolutions, will  hopefully help you get beyond February with them.   It will be presented as an email a day, starting January 4, 2009,  for 21 days, except Sundays because Sundays should be a day of rest, and it  will offer you suggestions, exercises, questions to take on for that day.  You get to take what works and leave what doesn’t but I would ask that if you decide to do it, that you commit wholly to the process of being with the program and also with the doing of it.   I offer it as a gift so this is not a compulsory exercise.  No obligations whatsoever except to yourselves.  If you would like to see what it is about, then send me an email to add you to the list of those who want to receive it. And remember, if you need me to hold you accountable on anything, you only have to let me know.

 I now leave you with this Prayer for the Past:, and greetings for the year that lies ahead: 

Let all those who guide me support me in peeling away

Whatever it is that keeps me blind to what’s possible,

That keeps me hidden from my greatness

That keeps me separate from my loved ones

Today I ask you to lighten my heart, to lift my burdens,

My worries, my fears, my anxieties, my grief

So that I may know and cherish all that I am

I see it, I feel it, I acknowledge it right now

And so I know that it is

 

-Debbie Ford

 

 

Happy New Year!!! 

 

Love Karen X

 KAREN BRESLER, B.A. LL.B CPCC

“Medicine Woman” 

December 21, 2009

Winter Solstice: the light returns

Filed under: Uncategorized — Karen @ 6:19 pm

December 21, 2009 - Winter Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere.  Today we pass through the day where from now on the days get shorter; from days that have more darkness towards days with less darkness.  As many of us use this time of the year to reflect on the year that has been and the year that approaches, it is useful to look at this time through the persepctive of the solstice.    What has been happening in your life as you went through the darkness and how ready are you for the returning light?

Being ready implies you will take action.  Stepping into the light demands that you be seen and counted.  That you step up to the demands of your daily living and aim for the higher road.  That you will leave the land of dreaming and actually get into the land of action by using your very own light to illuminate the way  toward what you really want in your life.   What does that mean?  First we have to look at what is really holding you back right now, standing in the way of the light returning? I want to challenge you to do the following solstice exercise.  Find a quiet space and light two candles. It is useful for one to be dark to represent the darkness and the other to be white or lighter.  Light the darker one and honour the darkness of the past year, the lessons you have learned, the ups and downs, any sadness, the shadows, any losses, the loss of time gone by, unfulfilled dreams, any habits and practices that you might  feel ready to  let go as you know they no longer serve you, knowing that all that the darkeness ever required of you was to be aware of it and flow with it, breath into it and stay present to it, not fight it.  Light the white or lighter candle  now and welcome the returning light, knowing that after darkness always comes light.  That is the natural way.  What lights you up?  What makes your inner light glow just that little bit stronger?  What do people notice in you when your light is shining?  When are you at your best?   What do people say about you when that is happening? Welcome that back.  Now, from this place of light, ask yourself what you would  attempt this coming year if you knew you could not fail?  What is the burning desire you have that you may not even have admitted to yourself, let alone others?  How radical for you to do that thing!  What do you need to do that?  What assistance should you ask for and from whom?  Allow the two candles to burn side by side in a safe spot while you now take paper and pen and draw three columns on the paper. In the first column, commit to paper what you are letting go as it no longer serves you; in the second, write what you are neutral about ie. it can come or go in your life, it makes no difference to you and in the third column, write down what you must absolutely now have in your life, the “MUST HAVES” especially in the coming year,  if you are to live the life of your dreams, if your life is going to be better or different or more special. Do this from a place of the lighter candle, where all is possible as the light returns  and it is easier to see, where there is the appearance of more hours in the day because of the light and therefore possibility saturates the air and hope is renewed.  What do you need, what help or assistance can you ask for to get what you need; what would asking for help look like; how might your dreams look if you dreamed them from the place of the fearless and brave one in you who can not fail?  What is it that you need to happen in your life in 2010?  What would it look like if, for the sake of the exercise you lowered your standards of perfection or expectations by 50%?  Write down what else is needed from this place of lower expectations.  Great!  Now that you have done that, share your writings with your coach or someone who will hold you accountable to assist you to let go of those things no longer serving you, of not spending your time or energy without awareness  on the neutral things and holding you accountable to take  a couple or more  daily action steps towards any of the things you have listed in your third column.  Contact me for assistance if you are fearless and have the awareness and passion to need it.  My focus for 2010 is to take you where you may not yet have looked because for 2010 my requirements are fearlessness and passion in the pursuit of dreams.   I ask for a lot and a lot is therefore asked of me. I love this with a passion. That assists me to live purposefully and in love and joy.  I wish that for you too.  The choice as to how to live your one amazing life is, as always,  yours and your future is determined by the choices you make today.  Make your choices count now!

May your light shine even more brightly as you go out into the world this holiday season and into 2010.

Namaste and all the best,

Karen X

September 3, 2009

September is the start of a new year!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Karen @ 7:38 pm

September is here and I am calling it the start of a new year.  Why!! It is not January!  Well actually I think it is. I think that new starts are good for energizing us towards our goals and September is the back to school month with new school supplies.  A senior executive at a large stationery store told me recently that they know that people love stationery.  Why?  Well apparently there is research to show that we associate stationery with back to school and that exciting feeling when everything is new and all your stationery is new too. Now I know why I drift around those stores buying stuff I really do not need but just have to have!  When you go back to school, even if you are dragging your heels there, it is true that each person has hopes and dreams or expectations that have not yet been worn down by the day to day grind (or homework). “This year I am going to do things differently” perspective. So September is the start of the new year.  Take it from me now.  It is always about choice of perspective. Many of you are already starting new projects in September, quitting old ones and some are literally going back to school and I want to take this opportunity to acknowledge each of you for your bold steps and courage with your plans and dreams.  Of course, living bigger brings with it its own challenges, but part of the learning is to bring awareness into how we focus or don’t focus our daily lives, so that we can better cope with the daily grind and don’t have it wear down our hopes and dreams so that they disappear and we became shells of our true selves. Rather, we use awareness to channel the hopes and dreams into action. And then we have compassion for ourselves.  Yes, compassion because otherwise we beat up on ourselves because we are not getting it “PERFECT”.  Remember, a dream without action is just a dream and no amount of positive thinking can get you there if you don’t take the baby steps first.  And if you wait until you get it perfect you will never get started.  So in the spirit of starting anew in September I am playing with the challenge of challenging you all to do one baby step each day towards a goal you have.  It can be to save for a trip next year. What step today can you take towards that?  It could be to receive a promotion.  It could be to heal your suffering and give up the pain that has been running your life.   Look at the end result of your goal, imagine what it would look like, feel it, touch it, find pictures or journal your goal or work with me on it in your sessions and then start looking for baby steps and take one each and every day. Use you calendar to place a check mark on the day once you have your baby step DONE or devise a system where you can check off your daily baby step each day you have completed it.

 

Start your day stating: Today a baby step for me towards (goal) is___________________________________.

Love and Light

Karen

August 4, 2009

Surrender

Filed under: Uncategorized — Karen @ 12:06 pm

Surrendering to who we are at our core creates the space and freedom to grow bigger in our lives.

Surrendering to who we are at our core creates the space and freedom to grow bigger in our lives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

The topic of  surrender is intriguing.  Depending on which book you consult, surrender can have different meanings.  The Websters New World Dictionary  defines it as follows: “to give up on possession of; yield to another on compulsion; to give up or abandon;…esp. as a prisoner”   This definition evokes thoughts of loss, of losing, of being caught.

 

Rick Warren’s “The Purpose Driven Life” says this about surrender:

 

 “Surrendering to God is not passive resignation, fatalism, or an excuse for laziness. It is not accepting the status quo.  It may mean the exact opposite: sacrificing your life or suffering in order to change what needs to be changed…Surrendering is not for cowards or doormats.”

 In terms of a calling, surrendering to what you are called to do on this earth in your life time is an act of sacrifice and yet an ache in you which  cannot be denied, notwithstanding the sacrifice or sacrifices you are asked to make to follow this, your calling.  It can take a lifetime to surrender to a calling and all the while that you resist surrender, there is a feeling that there is something more, something just out of your reach and to die without it would lead to regret.

 

Greg Levoy, in his book “Callings, Finding and Following an Authentic Life” says this about following a call:

 

 “ …we also need to make some rough peace with the force of chaos and the laws of motion, because following a call often has the effect of placing us at the foaming edge of evolution, moving us from a life that’s simpler and less effortful to one that’s more demanding, more complex, more of a juggle and a struggle.”

 It is the “juggle and struggle” to which we surrender if we are to ever be a peace and live a life of few regrets.

 

 

 What does surrender look like?  It is that unrestrained thing deep inside you that when it comes out has no mask and is pure unadulterated you. The very essence of you.   It does not think because it does not need the mind to think, the mouth to speak or the eyes to see.  It listens with the body and intuition.  It just is.  If you live with passion because passion speaks to you, it is the very passion that wants out.  It is that sensuousness that others pick up in you because it is there and now you surrender to it – it is your own personal impetuous mistress with needs and wants and aches that won’t be silenced any longer.  It is the deep caring for the body, mind and soul of another because they need you to care and you know it at a deep level and because this is what you are called to do.   It is the pain for another’s suffering even if you have never met them and everyone else around you thinks you are crazy to care.  It is letting the dramatic actress in you have the stage for the sheer joy and laughter of it all and then moving into silence to be one with the Universe, all within the space of an hour.  It is sitting so quietly in a sunny spot that a dove settles next to you and you speak softly to the dove sharing this spot with you and tell the dove it will be safe there with you and you believe that to be true and then a child, shoots the dove dead next to you with his pellet gun, and you cry bitterly for not being able to keep your word to the dove, for the life that is gone so suddenly and the meaningless of life in that moment and for this being the way things are. And you cry for the child because he feels bad for you crying but does not understand why this made you cry.    And you have gratitude in your heart for your children because it was not one of them who shot the dove and also because they understand why you cry for the dove.  It is in the meeting of two people who play the roles they thought they had to play and which society expects them to play and then find that they are helpless to pretend in each other’s company.  It is finding out that your husband  or your wife who you have loved for a big portion of a life, doesn’t want to be with you anymore and you surrender to the truth of this and let him or her be free like the adventurer he or she is,  for he or she too is on a journey, and even as you release him or her you still hope that he or she finds what he or she is looking for, and you wonder what being free is,  if there is no accompanying surrender.  It is about your own permission to allow yourself to be free, without pain, regret or guilt  to live this, your life, with all of your heart as if your heart were the horizon of the sea and as peaceful and as wild. It is to take in what others sense about you and to experience the joy of that in the moment, right now and in the next and in the next, because you know you will never have this moment again and to feel gratitude for that.  It is remaining unattached to what it all means and what others see in you because it is actually never about you.

 

 

 When you surrender there is no longer any need to pretend or defend or make excuses as what people see is what they get.   It creates the space for you to be free.  With all your flaws, and your beauty as a creature of the Universe, doing what you were sent here to do.  You ask to be accepted for who you are because you cannot be anything less than that and you pray to God that you can be more.  You want it to be that when you take your last breath, it will be a soft sigh filled with love, laughter and joy   And yes, that you can say that you loved deeply and that you were loved. That you made a difference. That you did what you came here to do.  That you surrendered to all that life had to offer.

 

I ask you this today:  Do you know what you are called to do?  And can you surrender to it?

 

Karen Bresler

July 30, 2009

June 9, 2009

30 day yoga challenge: the first 9 days

Filed under: Uncategorized — Karen @ 7:56 pm

a quiet space where wisdom can speak and be heard...

For those following what I am doing with the yoga challenge, I am on day 9 and I have never felt stronger and healthier.  Far from being a debilitating exercise where I push through for the bragging rights of saying I did yoga each day for 30 days, I am finding it to be an incredible journey with learning each day.  Well, you are only on Day 9, you might say.  I might have said that as well, already on Day 3 but now I know better. I know that the feeling of walking taller, of feeling stronger, of not wanting any junk food to eat, of realizing with a shock that I lost 2 lbs “just like that” in a week,  of tapping into my inner wisdom, of visiting with my yoga mat each and every day that special place where quiet resides and wisdom can speak and be heard.  I also visit the mat with issues of the day and find them resolved or set in a clearer context when I depart again.  And yes, there are ongoing pressures that melt away in the presence of yogic atmosphere. 

What have I learned so far in 9 days:

1. That challenge is a part of living a full life. If we did not challenge ourselves for ourselves sake, we live in a box, a container of our own making;

2.  It is not about winning but about showing up and being fully present for the instruction; the atmosphere; the physical movement; the inner movement;  the other people practising with you and yet on their own; for the union of mind, body and soul and for the learning;

3.That you can resist going back to sleep at 5.30 am when you have a higher purpose inspiring you to get up out of bed;

4.That your feet and hands have four corners and rooting them into the mat makes you strong and steady; 

5.That if you surrender to heat even though you hate heat, you learn you can survive, and a lot of the fuss was your own drama in your head;

6.What you see on the mat, you see in your life;

7. That this is not so much of a challenge as it is medicine for the soul;

8.This daily appointment with myself and my mat is life changing;

9. That it is not all on me; I can trust something bigger than myself;  I feel it in my heart and in the phsyical practice of yoga; I can ask for help and support;

10. Commitment to  and accountability around your unique resonant goal/s creates meaningful action in your life in all areas.

I finish the summary so far with this quote:

“Moment after moment, completely devote yourself to listening to your inner voice”

- Shunryu  Suzuki

Namaste,

Karen

April 6, 2009

This day…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Karen @ 9:46 am

This day will never be repeated ever again.  If you keep doing what you are doing, without thought, without consciousness; being on autopilot through your day, then you will keep getting the “same old, same old”.  When you next look, you will say:” Wow, its Easter already!  This year is flying? ”   And yet can you measure what you have achived in your life since January 1, 2009 until this day?   What will you say about the first three months of your life in 2009?

If there is more for you, for your life, if you want to make conscious choices and set goals and leave an impact; if you want to live life to the fullest and be the very best you can be, work on your life this day, now, in the moment.  Trust the little voice deep inside you that knows; choose your amazing life and truly live this day. This day will not come around again.

March 23, 2009

Spring is a time to re-focus and clean up

Filed under: Uncategorized — Karen @ 3:50 pm

Spring is in the air and it is the perfect time to take stock of what needs to be cleaned up in your life and where you need to declutter.  Families, jobs, finances, health, relationships, goals, life visions - all can do with a Spring clean.  When last did you examine these areas in the same way you tackle the pile of “stuff” waiting to be cleared out for a garage sale in the Spring.  I am going to challenge you to do the following:

Spend 20 minutes each day for the next month physically decluttering areas of your home.  Then find 30 minutes for yourself each day for the next month and reflect on your part in any one of the areas I have listed above.  Here’s something for you to consider from each of the above areas: 

Families: ask the whole family to sit down for dinner at the dinner table dinner for 5 of the 7 days of each week - and no TV on in the background.  Have a reward in place for when Day 5 dinner is completed.  At dinner, each person gets a turn to say what was good about their day and what was hard or challenging.  Be open to any conversation that shows up.  Have everyone assist to clear the table at the end.

Jobs/Careers:  Clean up your desk.  File all loose papers and tidy up. Do this for 10 minutes each morning and 10 minutes before you leave for the day.  Then from this place, draft an outline of what your perfect job/career would like if you had no obtstacles to achieving it.  Who works with you, what does the work environment look like, how much money are you earning. how many hours do you work? This is your job/career vision.  Compare the vision to your actual job/career.  Be fully present each day at your current job/career while working on advancing towards your job/career vision.  Set goals. 

Finances: If you have not already designed a budget, do so now.   Use it to see where you are and where you should set a focus.   Examine your debt and look at ways of managing it. Dont ignore it or sweep it “under the mat”. Give it attention and get rid of it.  Set money goals. Eg move by *** to pay less rent; save $ per month for a down payment starting (date)

Health: What do you eat; when do you exercise; when last did you have a medical or dental check up? How much sleep do you get each day; what would it be like to lose that 10 Kilograms? WHy dont you go to the gym or the yoga class? Whats stopping you?

Relationships: Connect; communicate; have fun; give space; do the maintenance work; dont drag up old stories and wounds from the past - be in the moment and use respectful language always.

Goals/life vision:

If you have not set goals for yourself or had difficulty creating a vision for any of the above areas or your life in general, then really consider hiring a coach to assist you in this area to declutter and get focused.  And move towards your magnificent life with clarity and purpose. Contact us about our Spring Programs to help you do just that!!

Love and Spring energy

Karen

December 22, 2008

A chapter with LG: a lifetime of coaching and other life lessons.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Karen @ 11:39 pm

It dawned on me finally today that this month holds the last day I would work with my trusted work partner of the last 4 years and I had allowed this to happen!   However, I know this is right and is next for her and for me.  I have peace with it and I am so excited for her but I ponder how I thank this wonderful person for the time we have shared together, the support, the learning, the teamwork and for the friendship and trust we have developed along the way.  These things simply cannot be purchased in the stores or demanded from another as a right or entitlement.  Our paths crossed briefly in 1997 and then again in 2005.  We talk about that brief meeting in 1997 and how it was repeated more definitely in 2005, resulting in where we are today.  We realize that we were definitely meant to meet and work together, not only at the office but with our life work on this earth.  Since that time, our work partnership has developed to the point where often neither words nor proximity of work space was needed.  Let me refer to this person as  LG.  I realized early on, even as I hardly knew her, that LG was one amazing young woman.  Where other woman her age were still figuring out what to do with their lives, she owned a property and was building another to support her family in her country of origin.  She has a maturity well beyond her years.  It is not immediatley obvious as you look at her beautiful, sunny young face.  A positive person, accustomed to working hard and being popular, she sees the best in others and objectively assesses the “not so best”.   Her upbringing instilled in her an appreciation for discipline and love.  She instinctively modelled coaching and inspiring others long before I had even figured out what coaching was.   Her light glows and others benefit from being around her.  She knows what it is to have a one year, two year and a five year plan!  She knows to dream big and plan from that dream.  She is very clear on what her values are and when she is honouring them or not.  Integrity, honesty and work ethic are part of her fabric even as some are unable to understand it and have tested her.    We have laughed together, cried together, stood by each other in moments of family sadness and have celebrated our triumphs, small and big.   I suggested a yorkshire terrier for her when she said she was considering a dog and she surprised me by taking on an equally amazing man, and his pitbull cross who dotes on her.  The doting part of dog and man did not surprise me at all and I was so happy to observe that they were a worthy match for her.  She has risen at 4 am to commute to work, returning home at 7pm and in the process all she talks about is the amazing people in her commuter vanpool and on the ferry. Never a whine or complaint about the commute. That she likes she says, because of the wonderful people she has met.   I have asked for and LG has given me opinions on just about every project I have embarked upon in the past few years. She has given me an insight into seeing my childrens’ view from a different, younger perspective; different perspectives being another great coaching tool.  She brings a practicality to my flair for the dramatic that I am really, really going to miss, and I have a feeling others may as well.  She has suggested to other lawyers in my absence what my opinion might likely be and when I later verbalize it, just smiles with a “I told you so” look on her face.    We have worked to the last minute to get a transaction through, have plowed through snow on Christmas Eve to get to the bank before it closed to get a cheque certified when everyone else at the office had already left  and no-one thought we would ever make it - but we did, laughing all the way, even as I stressed and muttered.  She has talked me through  a registration by telephone to register a deal when her home office internet connection was down and snowfall was yet again the reason the office was running on half speed.  We have celebrated together our many client successes and appreciation for repeat clients and we have stuck together through the hard lessons life has seen fit to teach us to help us grow stronger and move on with our dreams and honour our values.  When we had the circumstances that would have us divided, we pulled together and were stronger for it. Yes, we have learned a lot together.  The biggest lessons and strengths learned: Know your values and stick to them; focus on the positive and let the negative burn itself out; never, ever give up on your dreams; always have a 1 year, two year and five year plan; work as a team but don’t lose your individuality, take your vitamins each day and know you contribute to the success of the work you do and that taking the high road means that you can sleep at night and wake up each morning to engage in the process of your fulfilling, balanced life with your head held high, always with a smile.  LG, thank you so much for our time together in this chapter now closing and I so look forward to seeing what the next chapters will hold. I know it will be magnificent. 

Love K

December 20, 2008

The Inner Artist and the Canvas of Life

Filed under: Uncategorized — Karen @ 9:49 pm

Today someone very special to me gave me a calender for 2009.  It was not just any calender I realized immediately. I was instantly struck by the beauty of the artwork, the intricacy, the colour, the vibrancy, the life that jumped off the pages at me!  I exclaimed in wonder: “Who is this artist?”.  The reply - the artist was the person who gave me the calender, the person standing in front of me!  Yes, she had brought her art to the world, and who knew of her talent until now!  The calender took on even more meaning and grew a life of its own as I continued to admire it throughout the day.  I am so proud to be witness to this work and so honoured to hold in my hands the art that represents, I believe, this person’s core essence.  Here is someone who has talent, not only for art but for her life and it is manifesting.  How beautful.  What a precious gift to me and to the world. 

 Our lives too can be viewed as our own personal artist’s canvas.  There is a way that we can all be artists of our own lives, even as some of us believe we cannot draw or paint.  What would it look like if we allowed the intricacy, the colour, and the vibrancy which exists in each of us to simply “be”, easily and effortlessly.  I am talking about what comes naturally to you.   What does your inner artist, your core essence, look like to you?   Do you share it? Or is it trapped within you?  What is your ache, your longing in your life?  When will you let it free to be as it was meant to be? How do you want to paint the canvas of your life?

It is critical that we consider these questions and do the work that can assist us to be clear and know what it is that we long for in our life.  If not, too soon we will be reflecting back on our lives lived.  What will each of us say when we are near the end of our life?  That is a question and answer personal to each of us.  Take up your paintbrush and paint  in whatever way is true for you. It is your canvas… 

I know that my Inner Artist wants to soar like an eagle, be as majestic and yet as natural.  It loves being whacky and dramatic, and quietly meditative.  It loves being on the stage speaking and connecting with audiences and it loves the stillness of the game reserve and a retreat centre.   It loves the written and the unspoken words.  It completey loves the lack of control that comes from dissolving into giggles over “nothing”.  It enjoys with a passion unmatched, the incredible emotional movement of music, the depth and breadth of books, walking in the forests of British Columbia,  and spending time staring at the waves crashing to the beach in South Africa.  It loves watching the full moon, knowing that on the other side of the world, my father looks at it too and thinks of me.  It likes to howl at the moon for the sheer release and also for the sheer comedic value!  It is the global wanderer that loves the moment an aeroplane thrusts itself into the air and when it lands again, in a completely different place.  It loves seeing in each person their light and their potential and loving them and their dreams deeply. It is me and I paint my canvas. 

I would love to hear how you paint yours.

With love and thanks to all the amazing people in my life who continue to inspire me.  You are the “wind beneath my wings”.

K

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