It dawned on me finally today that this month holds the last day I would work with my trusted work partner of the last 4 years and I had allowed this to happen!   However, I know this is right and is next for her and for me.  I have peace with it and I am so excited for her but I ponder how I thank this wonderful person for the time we have shared together, the support, the learning, the teamwork and for the friendship and trust we have developed along the way.  These things simply cannot be purchased in the stores or demanded from another as a right or entitlement.  Our paths crossed briefly in 1997 and then again in 2005.  We talk about that brief meeting in 1997 and how it was repeated more definitely in 2005, resulting in where we are today.  We realize that we were definitely meant to meet and work together, not only at the office but with our life work on this earth.  Since that time, our work partnership has developed to the point where often neither words nor proximity of work space was needed.  Let me refer to this person as  LG.  I realized early on, even as I hardly knew her, that LG was one amazing young woman.  Where other woman her age were still figuring out what to do with their lives, she owned a property and was building another to support her family in her country of origin.  She has a maturity well beyond her years.  It is not immediatley obvious as you look at her beautiful, sunny young face.  A positive person, accustomed to working hard and being popular, she sees the best in others and objectively assesses the “not so best”.   Her upbringing instilled in her an appreciation for discipline and love.  She instinctively modelled coaching and inspiring others long before I had even figured out what coaching was.   Her light glows and others benefit from being around her.  She knows what it is to have a one year, two year and a five year plan!  She knows to dream big and plan from that dream.  She is very clear on what her values are and when she is honouring them or not.  Integrity, honesty and work ethic are part of her fabric even as some are unable to understand it and have tested her.    We have laughed together, cried together, stood by each other in moments of family sadness and have celebrated our triumphs, small and big.   I suggested a yorkshire terrier for her when she said she was considering a dog and she surprised me by taking on an equally amazing man, and his pitbull cross who dotes on her.  The doting part of dog and man did not surprise me at all and I was so happy to observe that they were a worthy match for her.  She has risen at 4 am to commute to work, returning home at 7pm and in the process all she talks about is the amazing people in her commuter vanpool and on the ferry. Never a whine or complaint about the commute. That she likes she says, because of the wonderful people she has met.   I have asked for and LG has given me opinions on just about every project I have embarked upon in the past few years. She has given me an insight into seeing my childrens’ view from a different, younger perspective; different perspectives being another great coaching tool.  She brings a practicality to my flair for the dramatic that I am really, really going to miss, and I have a feeling others may as well.  She has suggested to other lawyers in my absence what my opinion might likely be and when I later verbalize it, just smiles with a “I told you so” look on her face.    We have worked to the last minute to get a transaction through, have plowed through snow on Christmas Eve to get to the bank before it closed to get a cheque certified when everyone else at the office had already left  and no-one thought we would ever make it - but we did, laughing all the way, even as I stressed and muttered.  She has talked me through  a registration by telephone to register a deal when her home office internet connection was down and snowfall was yet again the reason the office was running on half speed.  We have celebrated together our many client successes and appreciation for repeat clients and we have stuck together through the hard lessons life has seen fit to teach us to help us grow stronger and move on with our dreams and honour our values.  When we had the circumstances that would have us divided, we pulled together and were stronger for it. Yes, we have learned a lot together.  The biggest lessons and strengths learned: Know your values and stick to them; focus on the positive and let the negative burn itself out; never, ever give up on your dreams; always have a 1 year, two year and five year plan; work as a team but don’t lose your individuality, take your vitamins each day and know you contribute to the success of the work you do and that taking the high road means that you can sleep at night and wake up each morning to engage in the process of your fulfilling, balanced life with your head held high, always with a smile.  LG, thank you so much for our time together in this chapter now closing and I so look forward to seeing what the next chapters will hold. I know it will be magnificent. 

Love K

Today someone very special to me gave me a calender for 2009.  It was not just any calender I realized immediately. I was instantly struck by the beauty of the artwork, the intricacy, the colour, the vibrancy, the life that jumped off the pages at me!  I exclaimed in wonder: “Who is this artist?”.  The reply - the artist was the person who gave me the calender, the person standing in front of me!  Yes, she had brought her art to the world, and who knew of her talent until now!  The calender took on even more meaning and grew a life of its own as I continued to admire it throughout the day.  I am so proud to be witness to this work and so honoured to hold in my hands the art that represents, I believe, this person’s core essence.  Here is someone who has talent, not only for art but for her life and it is manifesting.  How beautful.  What a precious gift to me and to the world. 

 Our lives too can be viewed as our own personal artist’s canvas.  There is a way that we can all be artists of our own lives, even as some of us believe we cannot draw or paint.  What would it look like if we allowed the intricacy, the colour, and the vibrancy which exists in each of us to simply “be”, easily and effortlessly.  I am talking about what comes naturally to you.   What does your inner artist, your core essence, look like to you?   Do you share it? Or is it trapped within you?  What is your ache, your longing in your life?  When will you let it free to be as it was meant to be? How do you want to paint the canvas of your life?

It is critical that we consider these questions and do the work that can assist us to be clear and know what it is that we long for in our life.  If not, too soon we will be reflecting back on our lives lived.  What will each of us say when we are near the end of our life?  That is a question and answer personal to each of us.  Take up your paintbrush and paint  in whatever way is true for you. It is your canvas… 

I know that my Inner Artist wants to soar like an eagle, be as majestic and yet as natural.  It loves being whacky and dramatic, and quietly meditative.  It loves being on the stage speaking and connecting with audiences and it loves the stillness of the game reserve and a retreat centre.   It loves the written and the unspoken words.  It completey loves the lack of control that comes from dissolving into giggles over “nothing”.  It enjoys with a passion unmatched, the incredible emotional movement of music, the depth and breadth of books, walking in the forests of British Columbia,  and spending time staring at the waves crashing to the beach in South Africa.  It loves watching the full moon, knowing that on the other side of the world, my father looks at it too and thinks of me.  It likes to howl at the moon for the sheer release and also for the sheer comedic value!  It is the global wanderer that loves the moment an aeroplane thrusts itself into the air and when it lands again, in a completely different place.  It loves seeing in each person their light and their potential and loving them and their dreams deeply. It is me and I paint my canvas. 

I would love to hear how you paint yours.

With love and thanks to all the amazing people in my life who continue to inspire me.  You are the “wind beneath my wings”.

K

Santa, I can explain! Could you release the head lock please!

A lot is said, done and written at this time of the year.  Most agree that December is busy and it can be a lonely and stressful time too.  In recent months, the focus of the news of the day has been on tough economic times.  A generation of children raised on electronic devices and instant gratification have, as usual, high expectations of the “Season To Be Jolly”.  Their lists are long and expensive. Credit cards get maxed out, “re-gifting” has become an accepted phrase even if it is not an accepted practice.  Family get-togethers can  cause tension and shopping is an exercise in self control as you move through crowds of angry, tense people on a mission to finish their shopping for the people on their Christmas list.  Whatever happened to the spirit of Christmas?  Whether you take a religious view of the spirit of Christmas or not, most know what Christmas spirit means.  It is often captured by the teaching of “It is better to give than to receive”.   For years I have found myself somewhat removed from the commercialization of Christmas and the weeks of Boxing Day sales that ensue.  For several reasons.  The one I will touch on here is what I attribute to me becoming clear of what and who is important to me and how this honours my values.  This makes it easy for me to decide how to prioritise my time, my shopping and my peace of mind such that I can enjoy the season. I still take a child like delight in putting up the Christmas tree each year and admiring each of the decorations, forgotten for a year.  Many bringing back  memories of Christmas’s past.  All the decorations made by the children at various times in their elementary career. Photos of my dogs’ first Christmas in our house, their young faces staring dog like from the photo ornament, photos of the children at a time when they still believed in Santa Claus and their faces speak of great magic and wonder as they too grin from their photo ornaments.  Turkey, food and Christmas Cake.  Family functions. Friends functions. Work functions and Dont Drink and Drive advice.   For the last 15 years I have enjoyed with my husband, children, and the dogs a Christmas Day together.  I know that can change.  The past already points to separations which happen over time and due to circumstances, All our family is very far away and flying everyone together for Christmas has not been practically possible.  This year we have lost two parents and have watched another have three emergency heart by pass surgeries.  Life is precious indeed.   Yes, I have often wondered as I have heard others complaining about the family dinner what they might say if that were no longer an option for them.  So when you make your Christmas list this year, ask yourself what you would want that could not be bought in the stores and then give that to all your loved ones.  Because if it is something that you would love and is that priceless that it cant be bought with mastercard or any other form of money, it is sure to be unique and special. And when you do go shopping, smile regularly, especially at strangers and why don’t you just hum along with the Christmas music. Do one fun random act of kindness a day and remember always, it is better to give than to receive.

Wishing you all a joyous Christmas and a new year where you are clear on what matters most to you each and every day and that you always remember to take daily action toward your dreams.

With love,

K   

Being in the moment according to your own values is powerful.

Do you get stressed when people are late?  Do you want your work colleagues to be more like you and less like themselves?  Do your children drive you crazy when they leave a mess all over the house?  Do your friends and family do “stupid” things and you want to yell “I told you so!”  Ultimately, are you feeling angry, stressed and overwhelmed because your life is out of control?

If you said yes to any of these questions, you may be suffering from a normal human tendency, which is to attempt to control situations according to your version of how things should be.  You may not even be aware that you are attempting to control things - you simply get frustrated and irritated when you can’t have things your way.  The problem is everyone has their own version of how things should be and there are as many versions as there are people.  It is a huge illusion that we can control people and situations.  The only thing you can control is yourself. 

The solution is twofold:  1. Get clear on your values 2. Slow down to being in the moment.

Here’s how to impliment this.  Geting clear on your values means that you will take decisions and make choices from a powerful space - a space that honours what is hugely important to you.  Sadly, a lot of people never take the time to get clear on their values so they never know whether any choices or decisions they make honour their values - or not.  Their life then reflects the results of these decisions and choices. When you make decisions and choices from the powerful place of your values, you do have control.  You have control over your own thoughts, your own reaction, your words and your actions.

Slowing down and being in the moment takes practice.  Take this very moment now to appreciate it fully.  Breathe it in. Feel it in your body.  This very moment is your life! And this one, and this one.  You will never have this moment again so make it count.  Treat it with deep appreciation and reverence.

We always have choice. Our future hings on our choices today.  Your words, thoughts, reactions and actions are all choices over which you have control.  Try this 4 step approach now:

1. Close your eyes and take a deep breath, from the belly up; repeat a few times to calm and centre yourself and to take in the quiet of the moment;

2. Say silently or aloud: “I have control over my thoughts, my reactions, my words and my actions”

3. Ask yourself: What can I let go of here?

4. Choose your words, thoughts, reactions and actions in response.

In dealing with others, if you think you need a moment, ask the other person to give you one. Take that moment.  Let the other person know that your are taking time to properly consider their request or the situation. Telling them this is what you are doing creates a framework in which you can both be heard and decsions or choices can be made from a powerful space as opposed to a controlling space.  Does this mean that you are compromising or giving up?  Actually it means that you are focusing very closely, using your own unique powerful thoughts and words to create empowering reactions and actions.

Get clear on your values now and slow down.

With love and passion,

K

I am inspired by the following excerpt from a book by Dr. Seuss - “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!”

“Congratulations!

Today is your day. 

You’re off to Great Places!

You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself any direction you choose.

You’re on your own. And you know what you know.

And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.”

What startles me though is even though we have brains in our head and feet in our shoes, very few of us have decided where we will go with the life we are given.  What I am talking about is a vision, a plan for the future, that enables a person to take daily steps towards their dreams.  And these daily steps are chosen from a place that honours values so that choices are powerful.    You see, when you have a vision, or a fulfilling plan for your future, you can take the ups and downs of daily life more easily in your stride and allow things to unfold as they should.  A vision is your compass, guiding you to stay on your chosen route, even as obstacles appear in the path and move you off it.    Have you decided where you will go in your life?   Is there passion in your decision?

I recently have had a lot of occassion to ponder old age and death.  When your life is drawing to an end, what will you say when you look back at it?  When you are on your death bed, what might your thoughts be on how you lived your life?  It is a well known quip that you won’t be wishing you worked more hours at the office!  My father, on being told that his odds of surviving were around 20% or less when facing his third emergency heart by-pass surgery in less than a year, was sorry he would never get the chance to go gliding again or to visit Vancouver again.  His indomitable will to survive and stay with his family pulled him through much to the amazement of the medical profession but he looks at every sunrise and sunset not knowing if it may be his last.  He says goodbye, not knowing whether he will speak to any of us again.  How do you view the sunrise each day?  Are you up in time to see the sunrise?  Do you even notice the sunset?  Do you say goodbye to your loved ones as if this was all the time you had left together?  Do you live your life as if this day really counted?

If we practice being totally in the moment, breathing in each moment and practicing huge gratitude for that moment because it is our life, what could be different in our lives, in our world?  Try it now. Stop thinking about the past, the irritations of yesterday or 5 minutes ago and stop thinking also about what you have to do today or in the future and just sit and take in this very moment….What comes up for you?  I am looking at the very beautiful profile of the North Shore Mountains, and the blue, blue Winter sky, with wisps of white cloud moving by slowly.  At this moment I am grateful that I can appreciate this beauty which I had not noticed at all when I came in and starting addressing my day and the lack of hours in it.  This moment honours my value of appreciating nature and grounding myself in nature and I am back in charge of my day.  Take a moment now and draw that moment into your life, and then take the next and the next and let me know what you see, what you feel, what comes to you in that moment.

And when I die, I dont need more than this.  A few flowers to mark the spot where my bodily remains rest, because I love flowers, and music as companion for those who mourn my passing, and because I love music.  I would rather that people speak of my life as magnificent than admire any gravestone put up to mark my life.

How do you want to be remembered?  How would you remember yourself if you were speaking at your funeral?

With love, K