The topic of  surrender is intriguing.  Depending on which book you consult, surrender can have different meanings.  The Websters New World Dictionary  defines it as follows: “to give up on possession of; yield to another on compulsion; to give up or abandon;…esp. as a prisoner”   This definition evokes thoughts of loss, of losing, of being caught.

 

Rick Warren’s “The Purpose Driven Life” says this about surrender:

 

 “Surrendering to God is not passive resignation, fatalism, or an excuse for laziness. It is not accepting the status quo.  It may mean the exact opposite: sacrificing your life or suffering in order to change what needs to be changed…Surrendering is not for cowards or doormats.”

 In terms of a calling, surrendering to what you are called to do on this earth in your life time is an act of sacrifice and yet an ache in you which  cannot be denied, notwithstanding the sacrifice or sacrifices you are asked to make to follow this, your calling.  It can take a lifetime to surrender to a calling and all the while that you resist surrender, there is a feeling that there is something more, something just out of your reach and to die without it would lead to regret.

 

Greg Levoy, in his book “Callings, Finding and Following an Authentic Life” says this about following a call:

 

 “ …we also need to make some rough peace with the force of chaos and the laws of motion, because following a call often has the effect of placing us at the foaming edge of evolution, moving us from a life that’s simpler and less effortful to one that’s more demanding, more complex, more of a juggle and a struggle.”

 It is the “juggle and struggle” to which we surrender if we are to ever be a peace and live a life of few regrets.

 

 

 What does surrender look like?  It is that unrestrained thing deep inside you that when it comes out has no mask and is pure unadulterated you. The very essence of you.   It does not think because it does not need the mind to think, the mouth to speak or the eyes to see.  It listens with the body and intuition.  It just is.  If you live with passion because passion speaks to you, it is the very passion that wants out.  It is that sensuousness that others pick up in you because it is there and now you surrender to it – it is your own personal impetuous mistress with needs and wants and aches that won’t be silenced any longer.  It is the deep caring for the body, mind and soul of another because they need you to care and you know it at a deep level and because this is what you are called to do.   It is the pain for another’s suffering even if you have never met them and everyone else around you thinks you are crazy to care.  It is letting the dramatic actress in you have the stage for the sheer joy and laughter of it all and then moving into silence to be one with the Universe, all within the space of an hour.  It is sitting so quietly in a sunny spot that a dove settles next to you and you speak softly to the dove sharing this spot with you and tell the dove it will be safe there with you and you believe that to be true and then a child, shoots the dove dead next to you with his pellet gun, and you cry bitterly for not being able to keep your word to the dove, for the life that is gone so suddenly and the meaningless of life in that moment and for this being the way things are. And you cry for the child because he feels bad for you crying but does not understand why this made you cry.    And you have gratitude in your heart for your children because it was not one of them who shot the dove and also because they understand why you cry for the dove.  It is in the meeting of two people who play the roles they thought they had to play and which society expects them to play and then find that they are helpless to pretend in each other’s company.  It is finding out that your husband  or your wife who you have loved for a big portion of a life, doesn’t want to be with you anymore and you surrender to the truth of this and let him or her be free like the adventurer he or she is,  for he or she too is on a journey, and even as you release him or her you still hope that he or she finds what he or she is looking for, and you wonder what being free is,  if there is no accompanying surrender.  It is about your own permission to allow yourself to be free, without pain, regret or guilt  to live this, your life, with all of your heart as if your heart were the horizon of the sea and as peaceful and as wild. It is to take in what others sense about you and to experience the joy of that in the moment, right now and in the next and in the next, because you know you will never have this moment again and to feel gratitude for that.  It is remaining unattached to what it all means and what others see in you because it is actually never about you.

 

 

 When you surrender there is no longer any need to pretend or defend or make excuses as what people see is what they get.   It creates the space for you to be free.  With all your flaws, and your beauty as a creature of the Universe, doing what you were sent here to do.  You ask to be accepted for who you are because you cannot be anything less than that and you pray to God that you can be more.  You want it to be that when you take your last breath, it will be a soft sigh filled with love, laughter and joy   And yes, that you can say that you loved deeply and that you were loved. That you made a difference. That you did what you came here to do.  That you surrendered to all that life had to offer.

 

I ask you this today:  Do you know what you are called to do?  And can you surrender to it?

 

Karen Bresler

July 30, 2009